When you hit your 40’s and 50’s there is a condition many suffer from known as midlife crisis. However, I have found an increasing number of younger adults suffering from some of the so-called midlife crisis symptoms, finding themselves lost in a life not of their design.
This can manifest as:
- A feeling of hopelessness
- Being trapped
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Wandering in the wilderness of confusion and sometimes misery.
What happened to the adventure, fairy-tale, the happy ending you were sold as a child?
What happened to prince charming or the beautiful princess, car, house, career?
Instead you may find yourself getting up each day, doing the same old things, same old routines, almost robotically, wondering what the hell you are doing.
Your mind seems to get stuck on the:
Why am I stuck in a job I hate?
Why am I stuck in this relationship?
Why am I stuck living here?
Why, why, why?
Well here are my thoughts!
As you wallow in self-pity, your negative thoughts become self-fulfilling prophecies. Yes, they begin to come true.
The more you focus on what you believe you are lacking the more you will lack.
Where your thoughts go your energy flows.
When things go wrong, you may put it down to bad luck, karma, whatever.
I have found over the years, whilst coaching many clients through the process of overcoming such feelings, that one of the biggest setbacks to achieving a future they could only ever dream of, was low self-esteem and a lack of confidence and planning.
Also, a significant part of the problem, creating a life worth living, was lack of structure.
One of the many strategies NLP teaches to achieve better outcomes, is to do an ecology check to keep you on track.
Ask yourself before you dive into whatever it is?
What do I want to have in my life, what makes me happy?
Create a life you don’t need to escape from.
- What will the consequences of achieving the outcome be?
- Does your desired outcome fit in with what other people close to you may want in their lives?
- Does it reflect your integrity and respect along with that of the other people involved?
- Does it fit in with your beliefs, values and identity?
- Does it enhance your sense of self?
- Is it consistent with maintaining your health and wellbeing?
- Would there be any undesirable results?
- What would you have to give up, take on, to achieve it?
- Do you have a gut feeling about it?
Then make your plan. Begin every day scheduling time to work on manifesting a reality you feel part of.
Include yourself in every scenario in your life. Discover what, who, make you feel seen, heard and your presence appreciated.
Appreciate your efforts, reward yourself with healthy treats such as a massage or trip out.
- Get up off the sofa. Cut down on how much time you devote to the television or computer screen and get out and about if you can or invite people round.
- Interact with others, get in touch with friends or relatives, catch up with the people you love.
Misery is a thought that has had too much attention and turned into a feeling, which gives it life.
Let’s starve the thought and redirect the flow of that energy into possible solutions.
You are capable of far more than you give yourself credit for. These hopes and dreams of yours are achievable, give yourself a chance. You deserve as much happiness as you can handle.